Its been the weirdest start to the year and I am actually super embarrassed that here it is four months later and I am on the second blog post. But here is the thing, I am embarrassed but not ashamed, and there is a difference. Personal identity for a twenty something gal is tough enough as it is, but add business owner and mother roles on top of it and feels like the most hazy head fog. So I refuse to add more insecurity on top of myself, It’s easy to self destruct in that headspace and no one wins there.
So even though its embarrassing, its not shameful that these months away were actually necessary. Nakina & Ko blew up faster than I expected, meaning we sold out for the wedding season. Major win, super humbled and excited about that but with rapid growth comes rapid responsibility. The client experience became my priority next to my personal life. Then something actually embarrassing happened.
My dream for Nakina has always been to become a physical space. Women connecting, having regular clients, champagne flowing.. the works. I was on the road to finally making it happen. There was a board room, an agent and a space. It was real, it felt real. Giddy with excitement that the word was “go” I let the information leak, I posted it to social media, I announced it publicly.. hello grand opening party!
Then a phone call happened, and text messages and crying and lots of spiral thoughts. The universe said no. It’s like it just changed it’s mind. She was like “Sorry honey but you need to stay where you are”, and that sucked. Like really sucked. But she’s right, she always is. So I dusted off the shame and went back and resended my grand announcement, because if God and the Universe say no than I have learned not to force it.
Being a business owner or any kind of professional for that matter, it’s embarrassing sometimes. Sometimes you’re rocking it and sometimes you are in a season of slow intentional movement. Its easy to wave the victory flag when we are in a season of success, but when its slow its easy to feel ashamed. But here is what I have learned, the season of slow is victorious too. Making mistakes helps you grow so much more successful. Slow intentional seasons are necessary, I am willing to say they are vital. For personal and professional growth. Slow and quiet seasons, feeling humbled, and taking a step back is a time to feel victory too. It is also okay to feel embarrassed, its human but don’t you dare feel ashamed for being a human being.
Thank-you so much for being here and embracing this #relatablybeautiful life with me, in every season.