My Don'ts for Thanksgiving

Happy Thanksgiving week friends!

 

As we all scroll through Pinterest and our favorite blogs to prepare for the best gathering of the year it is easy to get lost in the commercialism of it all. With Black Friday rounding out the hectic week it’s easy to get overwhelmed and forget the meaning of the holiday.

 

Instead of compiling a list of must do tricks and tips to add to your already full plate here is a list of my Don’ts this year.

 

This year I am saying nope to stressing about matching family outfits. I literally cannot even think about what I will buy for everyone to wear on that one.single.day. First of all, money. There are not truckloads of it during this quiet down season so cutting costs in unnecessary places is a must. As a matter of fact, I will be saying nope to stressing about our outfits period.  My friend Ivy at Ivy Boutique has tons of really comfy and adorable sweaters and easy to wear blouses at unbelievably great prices! I am wearing a cozy top and stretchy pants, major win!

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This year I will not over saturate myself with family members that compromise my mental health. This week is about being Thankful for our friends, family and all the good we are given in this life. Some of us have toxic family members, and its okay not to spend your time with them. If you are going to a big family function and there is no avoiding that they are going to be there, come up with a plan. Small talk does not come easy for me so I find spending some time writing out topics of discussion ahead of time to help me to stay present and not navigate into an emotional trap. Come up with an exit plan if things go array and you wish not to be apart of their drunken slurring, it is loving to remove your self and immediate family from the situation. Saying no does not come natural to me but I am definitely getting better at it. Especially when it comes to my kids, so no we will not stay out late this one night. Thank-you for hosting, Happy Thanksgiving and we’ll see you next time.

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This is a rule I love and I use for almost every occasion. Delegate, Delegate, Delegate. DO NOT DO IT ALL YOURSELF. You make yourself and everyone around you miserable when you are grumbling about how you did all yourself. It’s also SO awkward when you are snapping at your spouse in front of everyone. Like, Linda chill, its Thanksgiving be nice. Delegate what each person is good at. It makes no sense to power trip over things like this, well power trips are unnecessary always but stay with me here. If Rachel is so good at desserts let her make them, I know you saw a cute picture on Pinterest and you really want to take the reigns but you stink at fondant so like don’t, Rach will thrive at it and everyone will love her dish. If Anna rocks at tables ape but you are jealous because she’s clearly the favorite cousin and you couldn’t possibly survive all that attention on her so you give her a cranberry sauce recipe instead, everyone looses because now the tablescape and the cranberry sauce sucks. Let everyone do what he or she is good at. They will have the best time doing their jobs, it will all look and taste incredible, oh and bonus there is NO PASSIVE AGRESSIVENESS at the table! Cheers to that!

 

My last tip for keeping your heart pure to what’s important.. Keep vanity to a minimum. I know that is counter-cultural for a makeup artist to say but its true. Holidays and family gatherings are special and they shouldn’t be spent with people you feel like you have to impress. Doing your hair and makeup for 2+ hours to have dinner with family is maybe a red flag of a heart issue. Its one thing to glam up for a party or event but its another thing to feel uncomfortable if all eyes aren’t on you at a family gathering. Its fun to put yourself together and have some makeup on and curl your hair, it feels like a holiday when we do this but maybe we can skip one of the steps like fake eye lashes, gallons of perfume and dark lipsticks for a day centered around food & family. The old styling rule take off the last thing you put on applies here.

 

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Last but not least, stay mindful. I have multiple family members that have struggled with addictions and listening to them over the years I have some tips to keep your loved ones feeling included and most of all safe. If they are in the early stages of recovery try to avoid alcohol all together. Sometimes it can be very triggering at first and as the hostess its especially important you aren’t unintentionally alienating someone you love.  Usually after some time under their belt they are safer but always make sure you ask, it’s not as awkward as you think and clarity makes everyone feel better.  Make sure you have something non-alcohol that’s special available. No one likes toasting with lemonade when the rest of the adults have champagne. There are lots of really great non-alcoholic ‘mock-tail’ recipes and even non-alcoholic wines and beers that don’t suck. I drank this Fre’ red wine when I was pregnant and really enjoyed the taste, another one we like is the Bucklers beer, way way better than O’Doul’s.

 

I hope you have a wonderful Thanksgiving week! You deserve to enjoy your time and get well rested and have your cup filled. This holiday is meant to be enjoyed not stressed over, so I hope you have a wonderful and relaxing Thanksgiving.

 

Cheers pretty lady!

Enjoy your friends, family and food!

Hugs,

Sav